Seeds are a curse

From the desk of Fr. Ignatius Waters, cp

Sunday, 10th May 2015

This is George Washington, the first president of the United States. Wouldn’t you know by the look of him that he was suffering from something serious? 

Well, I can reveal all. I’ve had the same trouble myself since before Christmas! It’s all to do with dentures!

When I acquired mine, I got it into my head that no one ever had such an experience before! That’s until people in the church started telling me their stories! And they were extremely understanding and reassuring, telling me the denture needed time “to get bedded in”. They were so helpful I thought at times they were going to show me theirs! So I just want to thank all of you for your help at that difficult time.  Really there should be a support group for ‘dentured’ people in every parish. And perhaps even a “Day for Dentures” every year? There’s one for everything else! When I purchased my first Fixodent, I was toothless on top and couldn’t say the word Fixodent properly. When I confided to my support group that I couldn’t say ‘F’ clearly, they said, “Just as well!” Which shows you people with dentures are still quick witted and good humoured despite everything! But what about those awful seeds in the bread – inside and outside? No matter what it says on the Fixodent box, they manage to squeeze under the denture in droves leaving you seedy and irritable.

But really I shouldn’t complain.  Poor George Washington suffered far more than I did. By age 57 he had lost all his teeth but one and as a result his gums had softened.  He was given a denture made of human teeth but it fitted so poorly and hurt so badly he mostly kept his mouth shut. Anyway he had to – just to keep them in! And people said he was so ‘standoffish’ but is any wonder given the pain the poor man was in?

Really God should have designed us as well as he designed elephants. They get new teeth a few times during their lives but by about age 65 they run out of teeth and starve. So I shouldn’t complain about that either. Did you see that ad about the dogs with the dentures? That’s how I felt when I first saw myself with the perfect new teeth. I never had perfect teeth even when I was young. I had two crooked front teeth that people thought were cute but I didn’t. Now I’d welcome them back!

But isn’t it so ridiculous to take ourselves or our teeth or anything too seriously. Small and foolish and fragile though we are, God loves us, teeth or no teeth!